Fork in the Road Side Stories
by GoddessofRoyalty
Summary: Stories that are based off of ideas I've gotten either from people commenting on Fork in the Road or from my own brain while writing Fork in the Road. OR: probably a bit closer to my original summary of 'changing the Star Wars universe one pregnant male at a time'. Warnings: mpreg
1. Chapter 2

**Next Chapter of Fork in the Road is currently delayed (because I'm struggling with finding the right way of writing + voice for TFA!Luke – Damn him for having no lines in the movie!) so you get this instead.**

 **I was listening to Repo! The Genetic Opera's soundtrack between writing the last chapter of Fork in the Road and, well, everyone keeps asking me if Hux is the father.**

 **Pairings: Hux/Kylo**

 **Warnings: mpreg, childbirth, death in childbirth**

 **I would apologise if I was actually sorry.**

Kylo is screaming. Kylo has been screaming (and crying) for the past few hours. There is nothing Hux can do to ease his pain, nothing more the midwives can do. A planet like the one they are currently on just does not have the supplies needed to ease the pain Kylo is suffering from.

Hux wants to yell at him for this. Wants to demand to know if it was _worth it_ to leave the First Order? Was it worth it now they are stuck on this back-water planet without a proper medical facility because they have to avoid the eyes of both the Resistance and First Order? He wants to rant and work off his frustrations on Kylo (like he always does, did) but can't bring himself to with how the midwives are looking at them. Looking with pity in their eyes. Hux knows he is being ridiculous (hopes he is being ridiculous) but can't risk his last words to Kylo being an argument.

If asked a day ago he would have thought the concept of Kylo Ren dying in childbirth a ridiculous one. Sure he knew Kylo's grandmother had died after giving birth to his mother and uncle (Kylo had told him so much about his family after they had left the first order – Hux had mocked him for being sentimental) but Kylo was different. Kylo isn't some weak ex-queen who died of _heartbreak,_ he was the leader of the Knights of Ren and (while prone to tantrums) one of the most strongest people Hux had ever met. Anyway, all the tests from before they left suggested Kylo was the perfect mother physically. They said his body was strong and would handle pregnancy just fine (that it could handle multiple in short succession and that was part of the reason they ran). Everything had pointed towards Kylo having an easy labour and delivery.

Now Hux wasn't so sure. Maybe the results had meant he would have an easy labour and delivery if able to access the First Order's medical resources. Perhaps the results were just wrong.

Now Kylo was screaming in between sobs and groans, and the midwives were giving him encouraging words between shared nervous glances. And Hux is left in between, with no knowledge of his own but that which he can obtain from the others in the room. He doesn't actually know how much pain Kylo is in, doesn't know what a normal delivery is supposed to look like. So he tries to stay in control, keep a brave face on so no-one knows how much he is panicking inside. He and Kylo were supposed to escape the First Order and figure out what to do with the child _together._ Hux is terrified of being left with that burden alone.

Another hour passes, and then another. Kylo's throat has gone hoarse from his screams but they still come pouring from his lips.

Finally a triumphant cry comes from one of the midwives and the baby girl is born. She is healthy and whole.

Kylo slumps against the bed and it takes Hux a couple of seconds to realise it's not just exhaustion that has him like that. The midwives hurriedly hand Hux the child, who has been hastily bundled in clothe, before returning to some task that has them rushing and panicking.

Hux stares down at the baby and is amazed how much her features resemble his and Kylo's. He had always assumed babies all looked the same. That any difference was just the parents projecting onto them. He knows it to be false now though.

"Hux," Kylo says and he sounds so tired, so defeated (so unlike his usual self), "let me hold her."

Hux does so almost immediately, easily giving the child that Kylo has sacrificed so much for over. He hears one of the midwives mutter something that sounds like 'he's bleeding out' to the other but chooses to ignore it and instead focus his attention onto Kylo and their baby.

"She's so pretty," Kylo mutters before letting out a small laugh, "she has your eyes... and your hair."

"And your nose," Hux replies almost instinctually with the same professional tone that Kylo both loved and hated. "What do you want to call her?"

There is only silence in response to that question and when Hux looks at Kylo again he realises his eyes are glazed over.

"Kylo? Kylo!? Ben!" There was no way for Kylo not to respond to his birth name. He always hated Hux using it and would snarl at him for it without fail.

No reply breached the air, instead the already slow and shallow breathing of Kylo Ren stopped.

The younger midwife gave a cry at the sight. She was only really an apprentice, Hux remembered, and this was probably the first time she had had someone die. The older women had clearly seen it happen before. She had a clinicalness that reminded Hux of himself whenever he ordered the deaths of someone standing in his way (standing in the First Order's way). She offered her condolences and left the room so he could grieve in peace (dragging the younger women with her).

Mostly Hux felt numb. How was he supposed to process the fact that Kylo Ren died in _childbirth_? That Kylo Ren, who had fought many battles and decimated the rebel forces time and time again had been defeated by the combined efforts of his and his child's bodies. It was an impossible thought.

And yet it was the reality.

Hux removed the baby from the slowly cooling arms of her mother and stared down at her. She didn't even have a name. That was supposed to be Kylo's job. Hux would organise the exacts they needed to survive and Kylo would deal with the other things. Hux didn't even know how you were _supposed_ to pick the name of a child. His father had basically named him after himself but that wouldn't work here, couldn't work here.

Then he had the problem of what to do with her now. He had little want to stay on a back-water planet. Had never wanted to be on a back-water planet. That had been Kylo's idea. Kylo's idea to give her something of a normal life away from everything.

He could always return to the First Order. Snoke would be sad about losing Kylo (and the possibility of many more potentially-force-sensitive offspring) but he would be happy to have the child, especially with how much of a blank-slate she could be. Not even possessing of a name. Hux couldn't do it though. It was too much an insult to Kylo to take the child right back to the person he had put so much work (and now sacrificed his life) to keep her away from.

He could just dump her somewhere or give her to some kind strangers to look after. That wouldn't work though either. She was still his daughter and he wasn't ready to condemn her to the lifestyle of these (primitive, pathetic) planets.

He could take her to the Resistance. Leia Organa would accept her grandchild with open arms no matter what her son had done. She would also know what to do with a baby. Know how to _name_ it. Hux would have to hand over some pretty high level secrets to ensure his own safety but he knew ones that would do it. It was just a question of if he was willing to.

Leaning over the now cold body of Kylo Ren he pressed a gentle kiss to the death-frozen lips. "I'm sorry."

A week later, after Kylo Ren had been buried in a simple grave (he deserved so much bigger, so much better) Hux gathered up the small amount of possessions he now possessed and organised a ship to take the two of them off the planet.

He knew the next part would be the hard one. Knew that the next few days would be some of the worst in his life. He also knew he was making the best decision, the smartest decision. That didn't make it any easier.

She still didn't have a name.


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary: Stories that are based off of ideas I've gotten either from people commenting on Fork in the Road or from my own brain while writing Fork in the Road. OR: probably a bit closer to my original summary of 'changing the Star Wars universe one pregnant male at a time'**

 **Okay people here's the deal. These are either not going to happen in Fork in the Road because of various reasons (wrong POV, Fork in the Road heading a slightly different direction, etc) or are completely alternative universe to Fork in the Road. The connecting threat of them all is that they have been inspired by some part of my writing Fork in the Road (either my own head going 'HERES AN IDEA YOU CAN'T ACTUALLY USE' or people commenting on Fork in the Road with ideas I really wanted to explore but couldn't). Each section will have its own warnings + pairings. If you want to sent prompts go ahead. I'm posting the first one now because I've reached a small snag with Fork in the Road (read: my anxiety's acting up and I'm panicking over like one line for two days) so here's something to tide you over while I go finish it up.**

 **This one is an idea from myself. It's been hanging around since part 1 of Fork in the Road so it's nice to have it actually written down. Although I'm not completely happy with it.**

 **Warnings for this section: mpreg (TBH this will probably be in them all), childbirth (albeit not that graphic), probably some fucked up canon (I foolishly did not rewatch the older Star Wars movies before the new one came out and are now regretting it).**

 **Pairings: Han/Luke; Han/Leia**

She holds his lightsaber out to him and he is suddenly struck with the memory of her birth.

They had been on the Millennium Falcon. Some quick trip turned long for a reason that did not survive times decay with the rest (the reason the trip had been made at the time in the first place also long gone – it had been important though). They had been on the Millennium Falcon and the contractions had started. Light, fluttering things they were at first, completely unrecognisable if they had not been coupled with the movement deep inside him. Again, it was nothing exceedingly major. All things he probably wouldn't have noticed if not for the extra awareness the Force gave him.

He had continued with his task at first (unimportant and therefore unremembered). There was no reason to disrupt anyone else for now. He knew how long labour could last and knew he had been made aware of it sooner than most. It could be a day before anything needed to happen. There was no reason to disturb the others.

It was after 10 hours that he started to feel something that could actually be termed pain. His body starting to adjust for the task it would have to complete.

He remembers clearly Ben lying next to him, using his leg as a pillow, when he first made a noise of pain. It was only a hiss but enough to make Ben dart away from him and Leia to turn all her attention onto him. His sister's eyes narrowed as Ben apologised, believing himself to be the cause of his uncle's discomfort.

Luke cannot remember the words he used to calm his nephew down, nor the ones said that tipped Leia off to what was actually happening. A quick, slightly coded (they didn't want to tip Ben off as to what was happening yet) conversation passed between them until Leia was satisfied that they were still a fair way off anything but slowly growing pains from happening. They returned to their individual tasks and Ben returned near his uncle but refused to return to complete comfort (Luke now knew he would have known what was happening – his nephew would prove skilled in reading bodies, both his own and others – could always tell you exactly where the weak point on a person was and exactly how much abuse they could take before they broke).

The next hours grew steadily worse. Luke was glad for the Force sensitivity when he was able to predict when his waters would break. It was a lot easier to clean up a shower then it would have been a lounge.

After that it became more important that the others on the ship were informed about what was happening.

Han panicked but Luke hadn't expected much else from him. He had panicked for Ben's birth and Leia had been in a hospital (with "the best care in the galaxy" – fitting for an ex-princess and galaxy saviour) with that.

Leia on the other hand had scoffed at him and told Han that he had been allowed to panic for his first child, now he was just being ridiculous.

While Han tried (and somewhat succeeded) to act as if Leia's words had snapped him out of his panic and that he was totally in control of the situation, Leia took charge.

Ben was left in the care of Chewie (who was given the task of keeping the ship on course despite Han's near desperate suggestion that _he_ do it) and told to stay in the cock pit and that, "I don't care if we're about the fly into a sun you are not to come looking for us."

Luke gave him a grin and told him that everything would be fine but he should listen to his mother. Ben looked unsure but agreed and from what Luke knows stuck to it.

The three of them soon retreated to one of the rooms in the ship (Luke can't remember which, isn't sure he was particularly aware of which, having started to just follow Leia's directions semi-blindly). Han tried to be encouraging and supporting but (much like with Leia when she gave birth to Ben) couldn't mask the panic from his voice. That left the important tasks to Leia and she performed them to the highest level that could be expected from the circumstances.

In the middle of space Luke Skywalker gave birth to a daughter.

With her bundled up in his arms and Han looking more exhausted than Luke felt she had been given the name Rey.

Now, so many years (and so much pain and heartbreak and impossible decisions) later she stands before him holding out his lightsaber (his father's lightsaber, the one he had lost so many years ago) as if she wants to give it back to him.

Even after all the years he had been alive (and all the training he had done in them) Luke finds himself completely unable to detangle the complex web of emotions he feels at the sight before him. The sight of his daughter, full grown and made strong from hardship, returning to him. There is something like hope that rises in his heart, and something like regret settling deep.


	3. Chapter 3

**TBH the lateness of the next chapter of Fork in the Road is because I was writing the NEXT side story and sort of... forgot the main story ? ? somehow? Yeah, I'm horrible I know. It hopefully isn't too far off.**

 **So this idea was placed in my head by Cabot on while talking about the possible explanations behind the pregnancy in Fork in the Road. She never did get back to me about whether or not it was okay for me to kidnap the idea and alter it to make it work as a standalone so I hope this is okay…**

 **Warnings: mpreg (but this time it's actually a little more body horrorish); dub-con (? Eh, I'll call it that)**

This is an honour.

Most members of the First Order (and Knights of Ren) would give everything they owned and their lives to be given the opportunity to be this useful to their Supreme Leader. Kylo Ren had been chosen out of a near unfathomable amount of people to be given this honour. It is something that truly shows how much the Supreme Leader trusts and values him.

The want to vomit is just the morning sickness lasting longer than it should. It is defiantly not the reality of the situation sitting uncomfortably where it rests in his stomach (in about the same location as the bulge that is no longer able to be hidden).

Sure he had been reluctant at first. It was just that the concept of it was so foreign to him and his limited life experience that he allowed his weakness to blind him from the honour it was. Snoke had assured him that the method of procreation was common in many of the species across the galaxy. It really wasn't anything to get himself worked up over. Once Kylo had regained his composure and looked at the situation without the blindness his old weakness gave him he could see just how much of an honour it would be and easily consented.

Having the child implanted inside him was not an experience he liked to think about. It was necessary, of course, and a great honour. It was also painful and unpleasant and whenever his mind turns to it he quickly tries to find a distraction. He knows he is not supposed to distract from the thoughts. He is supposed to face them and turn the pain (and humiliation) into power. It is hard though and he tries to justify his weakness (to himself, he would never say the words aloud) as being another side effect of his condition.

It will soon be over though. Just another two months of the uncomfortableness and it will be over. Kylo pretends he isn't counting down the days, pretends he hasn't been counting down the days since it started. It is an honour to serve the Supreme Leader and one in such a position should enjoy each and every day that their body is being used for that purpose. It is a weakness that Kylo must defeat that is making him crave the end. It is a weakness and one he hopes to defeat before it is over.

Hux has been avoiding him since the pregnancy became visible. _He_ is apparently weak and cannot handle the sight of the Supreme Leader's faith in Kylo. It is easy to tell himself that Hux is jealous. To tell himself that he is glad he does not have to deal with the infuriating man who is nothing but an annoyance in his life. It is easy to pretend it is Hux's weakness and envy that is making him avoid Kylo. Easier to pretend than the possibility that Hux can look at the situation and see that there is something wrong with it. That Hux does not see it as bad fortune that he himself wasn't pressed into the arrangement. No, Hux is merely jealous and therefore weak.

There is a shift inside him and a foot that branches out to push against his skin that is already stretched tight. Kylo absently reaches down to gently rub where the foot is trying to kick out. He reaches out with the Force to the still forming mind and tries to transfer an aura that will calm it. He knows he probably isn't supposed to try and give the child such comforts, especially not when he cannot deny the secondary motivation of giving himself more comfort. It is another weakness. He still has two months to defeat that one as well. The child will only grow larger, stronger, in those two months. There is still much discomfort for him to channel into power.

The mind inside him reaches out and sends _love_ back in response to his attempted comfort. He quickly cuts off the connected that he himself opened. He knows for sure he is not supposed to encourage that. Knows he is not to become the child's _mother_ (not to think of himself as such). He is its carried and it is an honour (but that is all it is, it is not an obligation to the unborn child).

The mind reaches out again, determined to attach back to his. That too is only going to get stronger as the child grows. It already has gotten stronger, rapidly so, in the last week. He tries to block it out, to keep it from his mind. He fails (he buckles).

Once its mind has settled deep in the back of his consciousness the kicking stops. He can feel the _love_ and _comfort_ and _safety_ it feels there and refuses to try and unravel the complex emotions that are his response to that.

There is still two more months to go. Two more months of the slow agony that is the decline in his own power and mobility from his body's adjustments to grow the child (the Supreme Leader assured him it would all return after, possibly greater from the new strength he has gained from the trial). Two more months of the sickening, _weakness_ he feels for it.

It is an honour to be allowed to help the Supreme Leader's goals in such a passive (active, this is the most physically and mentally draining thing he has ever done) way. An honour and he should be grateful in every moment of it.

There is two months to go and Kylo Ren is counting down each and every day.


	4. Chapter 4

**Next chapter for the main fic will hopefully be up Monday all things permitting.**

 **So I was messing around with the idea of how I could work (common) multiple births in a 'verse that still had Ben + Rey as only children and ended up with the concept of there being a way for people to have either normal birth-numbers (so like rw statistics) or have litters depending on how the child was conceived. Hopefully this thing explains it well enough…**

 **If you want more info on the way this verse would work go send me an ask on tumblr. I probably wrote it down somewhere and forgot to post it.**

 **Also, how many times do you think I'll write the bridge scene? I would apologise if it wasn't such a perfect thing to mess around with.**

 **Warnings: mpreg; mildly problematic thinking about children (the 'they're you kids so you're going to love them and do anything for them' style thinking); implied discussions about rape;**

"He's pregnant," Rey says as a greeting.

"What?" Both Finn and Han are thrown by the words. It was not what they expected the first thing out of her mouth to be.

"Kylo Ren. He's pregnant," Rey repeats and the world seems to stop for Han Solo. "I saw it in his head when he… look, it doesn't matter."

"Are you sure?" Han asks, holding his daughter's (he's going to kill his son for taking her, for making everyone believe her to be dead) shoulders in a strong grip. He is aware he is probably hurting her but he needs to _know_.

"He is." That is confirmation enough. The world starts spinning again.

"Come on, we've got to move." Han isn't going to let the resistance die because of personal family drama.

"How?" Finn asks Rey as they move and Han wishes he was able to tune them out, wishes he wanted to.

"I don't know, I didn't go looking for _that_!" So his daughter knows what sex is despite growing up in a scavenger settlement with barely any other humans on it. At least that was one awkward conversation he didn't have to have with her (the 'by the way I'm your dad' one will be bad enough).

Finn sputters about how he didn't mean it like _that_ and Han would find the kids awkwardness funny if it wasn't for the fact that it is his son they are talking about and his daughter Finn is trying to impress. "I mean why?"

"I didn't go digging for that either."

"You didn't go digging for much," Han doesn't mean to sound so harsh but this is his son they are talking about.

"I didn't get the chance to go digging around. He kicked me out pretty quick after I found it." She seems ashamed of that fact; as if she wishes she could have done better for him (he's only know her for a week and he's already screwing up another kid). Han wants to reassure her that what she did was impressive enough. To get Kylo Ren out of her head and then break into his while being completely untrained is a ridiculously impressive feat. She really is Luke's kid. They don't have time for the praise she deserves right now though. So Han keeps them moving and reminds himself to tell her later (hopefully to tell Luke just how amazing their daughter became – if this all goes well).

They decide to use the bombs they have in their possession to give the resistance something of a chance at destroying the base and Han finds his son. He eventually convinces him out of his helmet and even at the distance they stand from each other he can _smell_ it on him. Rey had been slightly off in her summary of Kylo Ren's condition: he wasn't just pregnant, he had been _pupped_.

"Ben what happened?"

"I realised the truth and left the foolish teachings of my uncle to discover my real strength," Kylo Ren says nonchalantly, but Han can see in his eyes that he knows what his father is talking about.

"That's not when I'm talking about and you know it."

"I hardly see how _that_ is any of your business."

"Because you are my son."

"You lost the right to call me that long ago."

"Doesn't stop it from being true though."

"It doesn't mean you are allowed to have a say in what I choose to do with my body."

"I'm not saying I do. I'm just asking why you agreed to it. You did agree to it right?" If his son said no there would be nothing stopping him from carving a path of destruction right to the ' _Supreme Leader'_ himself.

"Of course I agreed to it. Do you really think me so weak?" The answer is of course no, Han is very aware of his son's strength. Still a father's fears will be present no matter how strong his son, nor how safe the universe.

Klyo apparently takes his reaction as disgust. "Does it really bother you so much to think of being a grandfather? Really you shouldn't be surprised; I am more than old enough to be a parent. For all you know you could already be a grandfather four times over."

"Am I?" The thought sickens him. It's not that it makes him feel old (seeing Rey sickens him in that way – the small daughter he lost suddenly all grown up), but thinking of his family, _his grandchildren,_ growing up under the First Order's rule makes him want to break things. His son being there is bad enough.

"No," Kylo says after a few seconds of (painful, horrible) silence and his eyes move from staring through his father's face to a place somewhere below where they stand. Han wants to look at what has gained his sons attention (wants to see if there is anything or if his hope that shame is the cause is correct) but is too scared of what his son could do if he took his eyes off him for even a moment.

"Why?" Han asks but isn't convinced he will get an answer.

"It would be wasteful to not. Wasteful of the power of my bloodline." Han knows his son is trying to goad him by implying that he isn't part of Ben's genetic linage (or a least a non-important part). It won't work, not with the memories that get pulled up from the words. Memories of a time that logic was presented to him about two of the three beings he only cared about in the universe at the time.

"So the reasoning's still the same huh." His son's eyes dart to his face at those words and he is glad he didn't risk taking his eyes off him because he would have missed the gleam of something in his son's eyes that he thinks (hopes) is doubt.

"What are you going on about?"

"You think I haven't heard all the justifications before? Do you know how many people told me, actually told me, they were disappointed that your mother only had one when she was pregnant with you? How many people tried to get me to convince them to have more?" His son looks uncomfortable at the words, like it is a topic he did not want to think about. _Good_ , maybe he can start to feel how Han does thinking about the fact his son has been _pupped_.

"It's different," his son doesn't even sound convinced.

"How?"

"It just is!"

"Come home Ben."

"Where would 'home' even be?" He had a point, Ben was a child often moved between locations. The longest he had stayed in one place was when he was being trained by Luke (Han isn't going to take him back there). Han had thought his son liked the constant change in scenery. Like seeing what all the different planets were like. Apparently he was wrong.

He says the only think he knows for certain. "It's not here."

Kylo Ren lets out a snort. "How do you know that?"

"'Cause you would have killed us by now if it was."

His sons eyes flash with anger and Han will admit (as long as he doesn't have to admit to anyone) that he takes a step back when the lightsaber crackles to life. "It can still be arranged."

"You don't want this." He's more hoping he is right then actually convinced he is, but he promised Leia he would bring their son back home and he isn't going to back down _now_.

"How can you be so sure."

"Because my son is not so stupid as to not see the obvious when it is right in front of him." As sickening as it was while Rey and Finn tried to figure out the 'why' of the pregnancy Han was trying to figure out the 'why now'. He had managed to come to two conclusions. One: if this had been the plan before Ben was pulled to the dark side (it was not a scenario he liked thinking of but was one he knew to be a possibility) then it would have happened earlier. Two: if it was supposed to happen after they were certain of victory than they would have waited the couple more months to ensure the Resistance and Republic were actually destroyed. That left two options remaining: either the person who suggested (ordered) it didn't expect / intend Kylo Ren to stay alive for much longer or it was a punishment. Neither implied his son to be as important as the resistance believed.

"What are you talking about?" his son's voice is deadly but Han still knows what he looks like when he is unsure and the behaviour is as unmistakable now as it was when he was a boy and asked if he wanted to go to Luke to train.

"Why now?" Han asks and his son snarls but he knows he's on the right track. "You must have thought about it and there's no other conclusion to draw." His son was not stupid and Han can see in his eyes that he has come to much the same conclusions as his father. He wonders if he has managed to get it down to one, if he has some piece of information that rules out one or the other alternative.

"The Supreme Leader is wiser than us," his son says as if it is justification for it.

"That doesn't mean he has your best interests at heart." He had done his best to teach his son that just because a person was smart didn't mean they were trustworthy. Taught him that being the smartest (or most powerful) person in the room didn't always make you the right one (and he did regret that one – maybe if he hadn't of put that thought into his son's head Ben might not have turned against Luke).

His son tightens his jaw and stands with lightsaber raised. "I am not so vain as to believe my life more important than the goals of those above me."

Han wants to laugh at that. Wants to laugh and point how much that makes him like Luke and Leia. The infuriating willingness to die for their cause that always ended with Han getting dragged into fights he didn't want to be a part of.

He doesn't laugh though. He knows it will only anger is son more (and he is very aware of the lightsaber ready to strike).

Kylo Ren takes the silence as a cue to continue. "And soon I will have children to finish whatever I fail to complete."

"And what if they don't? What if despite everything you and everyone around them do they end up idolising their grandparents and try to undo everything you worked to build." He thinks of a child, dressed in mini-First Order's officer outfit idolizing him and he tucks it away for a time when he can actually laugh about it (if there ever is a time when it isn't s threatened reality).

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying you have no idea what you're getting into."

"And you do?"

"No. I'm still convinced I wasn't cut out to be a parent but I tried. You think you will be able to hand them over once they're born, that you won't feel anything for them. I can tell you that you will. No matter what you'll love them for the rest of your life."

"You're lying," his son says but the lightsaber has been turned off.

"Sometimes I wish I was," the words are a risk, they could potentially anger his son to such an extent that there would be no calming him back down.

Apparently the gamble pays off. The lightsaber falls from his son's hand, tumbling down into the darkness below the ramp. "I'm sorry," his son says and Han can see the tears in his eyes.

"Then come home with us."

His son weakly nods and Han reaches out to him, to grab his hand. He leads his son off the catwalk and remembers all the times he had done the same thing when Ben was a child and needed the reassuring touch of his parents to know he was safe.

There are still a lot of things to work out (and Leia is going to have a heart attack when she finds out she is going to be a _grandmother_ ), but for the brief moments before the chaos breaks out Han is happy to have his family back again.


	5. Chapter 5

**So this one is sort of inspired by a line in the previous one and is probably the most cracky thing I've ever written... I'm sorry if it sucks.**

 **The next one is more serious I promise. Also (as long as the world and my muse behaves) I will have better quality stuff that is not the Side Stories going up next week.**

 **... I still have ideas from like the fourth chapter of Fork in the Road to write into these and instead I'm doing this... someday my brain will behave and focus on the ideas I actually want to write.**

 **Warnings: mpreg; having a literally uncountable number of children (like I said – this is cracky); making a joke about the massacre at the Jedi-school (CRRRAAAACCCKKKK)**

Kylo Ren is facing off against his father on the catwalk when the situation suddenly becomes clear to him. The base is under a serious enough threat to warrant moving the children into an escape ship that is to be deployed the second things look remotely dire. The escape ship will be thinly guarded with all the non-necessary troops being repositioned to fight off the attack (and hopefully prevent it from becoming dire). He could take them all out himself but then he as the problem of getting off the planet and would need to get a clean ship quickly without being recognised in order to keep the First Order from simply tracking him down and taking back what Snoke believes to be rightfully his.

Kylo Ren realises the solution to all those problems is standing right in front of him.

"Can they pilot the Falcon?"

"What?" So Kylo can admit the question does come a bit out of nowhere but his father cannot be _that_ stupid.

"Can they," he punctuates that with a head nod towards the girl and the traitor, "pilot the Falcon?"

"She can. Why?"

"Tell them to take it back to the resistance base and follow me."

"What? Why?"

"Just do it." He really doesn't want to explain everything right now. They don't have time to explain everything right now.

There must be something in his face that convinces his father because he yells up at the two to go back to the Falcon and get off the planet.

They of course protest. "I've got Chewie with me, I'll be fine!"

The other two reluctantly agree and disappear.

Kylo leads his father out of the room. Chewie asks whether he should set off the explosions and Han tells him that of course he should, it was what they came there for anyway. Kylo doesn't even flinch as the explosion echoes through the walls. He has a more important task to complete.

The escape shuttle is exactly where he thought it would be (which is good because the explosion is apparently 'dire' enough for the launch sequence to be activated). Killing the two guards is the easiest thing he has ever done in his life. Except maybe killing the pilot.

"Can you fly this thing?" Kylo asks his father despite already knowing the answer.

Han snorts in response before taking over the launch preparations from where the previous pilot left off.

They have been in the air for barely five minutes (and about to break into an argument about whether they should use the guns on the thing to help) when Kylo's second eldest enters the cockpit. She was the second born from his first little and nearly to the point in her training where she is deadly. He doesn't even need to reach out with the Force to know his eldest is a little behind in case she needs back up in _becoming deadly_.

She assesses the situation and has no idea as to what the correct (Snoke approved) response is. So she asks the person who always gave her the answers she needed.

"Mum? What's going on?"

Han Solo nearly chokes on his own saliva as he turns around to address what he just heard. She is older than he would want a grandchild to be all things considered.

"Just a minor change in plans," Kylo brushes his daughter off easily but his father's burning gaze is harder to shake.

"'Mum'?"

"There may have been something I didn't tell you."

Of course that is when his eldest makes his presence known. "Who are these guys?"

"None of your business."

"Don't tell me-" Han says and Kylo's face apparently _tell him_. "Oh Force, how many more? Please tell me you know that!"

"I... lost count," Kylo says after a minute and he can hear the shake in his voice. After five pregnancies with five-to-seven children each he really did lose track.

Chewie tells Han to give over the controls while he deals with his ' _family_ ' (Kylo is glad his children cannot understand the growls for words). He doesn't bother asking if they should stick around to help, just flies the ship directly off the planet and back the resistance base.

Han takes a calming breath. "Okay, so I'm a grandfather."

"But-" Kylo's daughter goes to ask but is silence by her mother's hand held up. She is too well trained not to follow the unspoken order.

"Are the rest on here too?"

Kylo looks at his son for an answer and gains a (militarily given) affirmative.

"Can I see them?"

"If you want to."

The ship is not large but the children were given a room clearly spate from the rest of it. Kylo is pretty sure they are all there.

"By the Force – were you trying to breed an army?"

"Yes." It is an easy answer for him but it makes his father wince.

"I don't know how I'm telling your mother this."

Again Kylo's second born goes to speak up, again Kylo silences her. He will deal with trying to explain to them why he made the decision he made later.

Right now the ship is landing so his father has to go stop the Resistance from just blowing it (and everyone on it) up.

"Stay," Kylo commands to his children before following his father.

He doesn't follow Han and Chewie out. Stays on board as his father talks down the Resistance's guns, and (apparently) talks Leia aboard alone.

Leia hugs her son tightly the second she sees him.

"There's something else you should see," Han mutters and his voice gives away that it is something _bad_.

When Leia enters the room of the children there are six blasters pointed at her. Kylo easily disarms his first litter (they are still weaker than him).

Again the confusion as one of them blurting out the _word_ and Leia turns to her son white faced.

"Ben, no..."

He gives her a nod (refusing to let the tears he wants to cry even _show_ ) and she reaches to pull him into a(nother) tight hug.

"I'm so sorry."

"Don't be." It had been his decision. Sure Snoke had wanted it but he had left it as Kylo Ren's decision. Kylo Ren was the one that agreed to it.

He realises he just might need Luke's Jedi-school after all (and this time he probably won't massacre the students).


	6. Chapter 6

**So just to update everyone with what is happening with Fork in the Road: I am currently struggling severely with "I'm a horrible writer and none of my readers deserve the crap I'm writing" with it. Also I've hit a bit of a wall when it comes to the next conflict / arc. I keep having mild ideas but none that are a concrete. (also all my free writing time keeps going to new **shinier** ideas) I also feel like my chapter quality is starting to drop because of the previous reasons, and I don't want to give you guys something I'm not completely happy with. I haven't abandoned it though, I'm just taking a break!**

 **So this was based off a kink!meme prompt that was really similar to the main fic except for the fact it wanted Kylo/Hux as the pairing (and for them to defect together). I then managed to twist this to the point where it barely resembles the prompt that inspired it. *sighs* this is why I don't fill as many kink meme prompts as I would like.**

 **At least this one is a true hypothetical way the main story could have gone but won't instead of a 'I had an idea and created a whole new verse for it' like the others.**

 **Does this count as another bridge scene rewrite? Probably. I'm sorry I can't seem to stop myself.**

 **Pairing: Kylo/Hux**

 **Warnings: mpreg; implied/thoughts of torturing/killing pregnant people**

They had talked about it. Talked about the possibility of leaving the First Order. Sometimes they talked about setting off on their own, cutting off all ties and seeing if they could create a life on one of the planets, getting as far away from the conflict as possible. Other times they talked of going to the Resistance, using a mother's love to ensure their safety. They had talked about it many times, talked about the various hypothetical ways of going about it but they always knew it would be impossible. Impossible to shake Snoke and all of the First Order off. No. There was no way for them to leave they agreed.

Or at least Hux thought they had agreed.

They are literally seconds away from removing the Resistance as a threat for good when he feels Kylo Ren's presence slip into his mind.

'I am going with my father. I'll find a way to contact you when it is safe for you to join me.'

Hux is glad he has so much practice in schooling his face so those serving under (and over) him do not know what he is thinking. He is lucky that nobody can see the fury he is feeling despite there being no obvious catalyst for it. Kylo Ren had the reputation of being unpredictable in his emotions and reactions. Hux was the one who was reliably consistence and reasonable.

'Also you might want to evacuate the base.'

At least that comment is followed by a shake in the building that can only mean _something_ has happened. Hux can pretend his anger and confusion is focused on that instead of Kylo Ren's words.

The explosion is traced and while damage has been done everything is still operational. They will still be able to complete the task set for them by the Supreme Leader. After that Hux will deal with his lover. Hopefully the mess Kylo Ren has made isn't as bad as Hux believes it to be.

The _planet_ shakes this time. The damage has reached a point where the planet itself is cracking. As much as Hux hates it he ends up doing as Kylo Ren suggested and evacuating.

Once he has ensured everything important it getting off the base he leaves himself. It is once they have set everything up to fly directly to Snoke that Hux feels Kylo slip back into his mind. The first thing communicated is relief that Hux is alive and didn't end up dead when the base was destroyed. The second is an apology for leaving. Hux excuses himself and finds a place where he can have this _conversation_ privately. Where he doesn't have to risk someone reading what is going on from his expression.

Kylo regrets leaving him but he couldn't risk the time it would take to convince Han Solo to take him too. He couldn't risk people becoming aware of the plan and trying to stop him. He had to do it. It was his best chance at leaving safely (and remaining safe).

Hux can feel a headache coming on. This was not how he thought the day would pan out. He woke up in the morning believing the day would hold the First Order's ultimate triumph. He did not think he was going to end it with the base destroyed and his lover defecting (taking their unborn child with him). He cannot fault Kylo Ren though, it was the best chance he had of leaving undetected. It also has the added advantage of bringing him within his family's protection. Snoke will have to _plan_ a way of getting him back, especially now they have the map to Luke Skywalker (by now potentially have Luke Skywalker).

Ren promises he will find a way to get Hux to him (which is stupid because Hux is the one who thinks up the plans, Kylo Ren is the one who does things impulsively which is why they are in their current situation) but for now he has to go. The ship he is on has arrived at the Resistance base and he needs to focus on _that_. He will contact Hux as soon as he has news.

Half a week passes without the presence of Kylo Ren slipping into Hux's mind and Hux is starting to worry. He had been sure that between Kylo Ren's parents and the _child_ there would be no way for any cruelty to come to his lover. Now he is starting to doubt that. In the First Order a prisoner being pregnant would not stop steps being taken to either get information from them or remove them as a threat. Maybe he was wrong in believing the Resistance softer than that.

He is (rightfully) scared when the Supreme Leader calls him to a private meeting. Snoke will be unhappy that Kylo Ren and the child have vanished (and perhaps perished). He will be angry and will blame Hux for it because there isn't anyone else that could be held responsible.

Hux tries to walk to his death with his head held high.

"I have news as to where Kylo Ren is being held."

"Supreme Leader-" Hux doesn't know what he wants to say. He has nearly accepted Kylo Ren's death and now the Supreme Leader is talking about him being held somewhere. The thought of him meaning where Kylo Ren's _body_ was being held seems impossible (the Supreme Leader has little interest in Kylo Ren himself, and would have little want to retrieve a body if it was not useful).

"I need you to organise a team to retrieve him."

"I-" he feels like he should say something or maybe ask one of the many questions that are weighing on his mind. His options all seem too dangerous, too much like admitting he might have feelings for Kylo Ren past those that are allowed by their positions (past the mutually gained pleasure their fucking is supposed to only be). "Yes Supreme Leader."

"Do not disappoint me." Hux feels as if there is a second threat there. Feels that Snoke probably knows the real reason for Kylo Ren's disappearance and knows the hypotheticals explored by them in the dead of night.

"I will not fail your Supreme Leader," Hux says with a bow.

"Good. You are dismissed."

Building the team is harder than he expects it to be. They lost a lot of good, competent Storm Troopers in the fall of Starkiller Base. There are still plenty more but Hux had not yet realised exactly how much damage they had taken (hadn't yet gotten the chance to calculate it). He finds himself laughing. The Resistance might still have a chance yet.

He picks out the best he can.

As an afterthought he adds himself. The mission is far from what he usually does but he needs to be there. Needs to see what has happened to Kylo Ren. Needs to find out why he has not contacted Hux yet. Needs to know if something bad has happened or if Kylo has cut off his ties to the First Order. Cut Hux off in order to have a better chance of returning to his family.

He is both looking forward to and dreading the mission. At least he will have the answers as to what happened to Kylo Ren (and his child) after they left his mind during the fall of Starkiller Base (and Kylo Ren's defection). He fears the answers will not be the ones he wants (Kylo Ren has cut him off, or worse – Kylo Ren is dead).

It is hardly a day from when he puts in his decision of who will go to when they are leaving to attack the Resistance base and retrieve Kylo Ren.

Hux stays on the ship as the Storm Troopers swarm on the base. He stays on the ship and transfers the information between them as needed.

"We think we have found him," FR-2675 says and Hux' full attention is on him.

"Where are you?"

"In the base. One of the rooms is locked. The door is different General Sir."

"What sort of different?"

"Like it has been reinforced somehow General Sir."

"Do you want us to blow it open?" SS-1643 asks.

"Yes of course I want you to blow it open. Our mission is to search every corner of the base to find Kylo Ren. I want no rock unturned."

"Of course General Sir," FR-2675 says and a few seconds later he hears an explosion through the coms.

"Well. Is he there?" he demands and the sounds of bodies hitting the floor is his response after a minute of silence.

"Dammit! One of you report immediately!"

No words come from any of them but a presence slips into his mind.

' _Did you miss me General_?'

Hux tries to hide the relief in his own mind. He does not want Ren knowing exactly how much he missed him. Apparently Kylo finds it nonetheless because a smugness presses into him that can only belong to the other man.

' _Where are you?_ ' There is a pause as apparently Ren just decides to _find_ the information instead of allowing Hux to give it. ' _Stay where you are._ '

Hux wants to snap how he had no plans of leaving the ship anyway but the connection is broken.

Hux doesn't have to wonder long about what Kylo is planning before the Storm Troopers tell him. It soon gains a predictable pattern: a Storm Trooper reports that they have found Kylo Ren, that Storm Trooper's body hitting the ground (and perhaps the hum of a lightsaber) being the next sound that comes through the coms. Kylo Ren is carving a bloody path through their men and Hux has a feeling it is leading towards him.

"You can come out now," Kylo Ren's voice calls from outside the ship and Hux throws him com to the ground (the only way he can express his anger at the other man currently) before walking out. He really hates the man (lie).

"I wasn't there because you told me to be. I was trying to command the troops I brought in order to retrieve you," Hux says. Seeing Kylo Ren makes it clear to him how his lover really was _fine_. Sure he was covered in blood and dirt, but it wasn't his blood. The Resistance apparently was as soft as he believed. "You didn't contact me."

"The room I was in blocked the Force from coming in or out," Kylo Ren explains as he walks closer causing Hux to scowl.

"You're dirty," he grumbles as Ren reaches out to him.

"And you are always too clean for the blood on your hands," he slips back into Hux's mind and Hux can see how he believes that Hux planned the attack to be a massacre of Storm Troopers. Planned it so he could get to the Resistance base without being stopped. Hux decides to just let him believe what he wants.

The resistance pilot (Poe Dameron, Hux remembers him _well_ ) looks awkwardly away when the two embraced. He doesn't leave them though, apparently determined not to let them escape despite how clearly he does not want to be there.

The battle is over far too quickly.

General Organa is quick to find them.

"There you are," her whole body relaxes when she sees her son. When she notices Hux she tense right back up. "What are you doing here?"

"I was sent by the Supreme Leader to retrieve Kylo Ren," Hux says.

"He's with me," Kylo Ren says.

General Organa looks between them (and briefly to Dameron who avoids her gaze) before crossing her arms. "So you're the one I have to bury on a moon," she says and Ren's mouth quirks just slightly and Hux knows it's some _joke_ between them. Hux understands enough to know what it is a joke _about_ and cannot resist the urge to flush at it. That apparently pleases the woman.

The pleasure passes from her quickly and a frown takes its place. "You two had better have some pretty useful information because Force knows I'll have a hard time trying to convince the council to just exile you both."

Hux was right about a mother's love ensuring their safety. Even if he still isn't convinced that this is actually the right decision. It's not like he can escape at that moment though. So for now he will stay and see how it all plays out. The plan can always change in the future if it needs to.


	7. Chapter 7

**So I spent the week visiting family, visiting friends, and sleeping in a desperate bid to convince my body not to fall prey to the headcold it is threatening to give under to. The things I wanted to get written did not get written so enjoy another Side Story from the backups.**

 **So while this is** _ **technically**_ **a prequel to the main fic I think I messed around with the timeline a bit and for this to actually fit it would either have to start at like the day of conception or the main fic would have to have him further alone… eh. These things aren't actually true to the main fic, they're hypotheticals.**

 **Warnings: mpreg**

The heartbeat is not startling the first time he hears it.

It is mostly because he believes it to be his own.

It is not uncommon to hear ones heart while meditating. The silence it requires has a way of making those unavoidable sounds of living deafening.

At first it is too easy to pass off the thud-thud he is hearing as that. Pass it off as a normal occurrence that doesn't require any thought or worry. There is something off about it thought. Something that makes him aware that it is not merely his own heart echoing through the silence.

The sound feels like it is coming through the Force. It originates from inside him, but is being communicated through the Force and not the silence of the room he is in.

Still, he passes it off as something unimportant. Something that doesn't require anymore thought on his part. It is an oddity, yes, but is more likely to just be a new way his own heartbeat is becoming a pendulum to which he can meditate to.

It starts to echo through his dreams.

That is weird but not an immediate cause for concern. His grandfather had prophetic dreams and maybe this is the start of them. An echo through the Force of his own being that will become the gateway to the future being revealed to him. The thought excites him. A connection to his grandfather that is more special than his blood and connection to the Force. A chance to prove himself as Anakin Skywalker's grandson, more than Luke Skywalker's nephew.

He does not verbalise his excitement to Snoke but has no doubt that the Supreme Leader knows. He believes Snoke's silence on the matter is to let it develop. To let the dreams come without pressuring Kylo to force them.

That isn't going to stop Kylo Ren from trying to force them and he spends the majority of his meditations focusing in on the heartbeat. Trying to find the point within it that will spark the visions.

Soon he starts hearing it when he is awake.

He thinks it is a good sign. A sign that he is getting closer to being given the power to see the future. He hopes it goes away when the actual visions come. It is a bit distracting having the metronome of his heartbeat constantly in the back of his mind. However if it is something that he must endure for the rest of his life he will happily endure it for the benefit of the visions.

That is if the visions come.

They seem to allude him no matter what he does to try and open himself up to them. It is frustrating and infuriating to be teased by his own mind. His own powers that are the source of all his strength giving him the suffering but not the reward for it.

His frustration reaches a critical point and the room he is trying to meditate in suffers for it. The destruction brings his own heartbeat up, excites it to the point where he can feel it pounding in his chest. The one in his mind is excited too but there is something off between the two rhythms. Something that doesn't seem to match up.

He tries to push it from his mind. Tries to ignore it as a mistake on his part. There can be no other source of the heartbeat but his own. They had been beating so fast that he probably heard one wrong.

The doubt does not go away.

It is easier to ignore it during the day when he has tasks to complete that keep his mind busy. When he tries to sleep it is there. The heartbeat and the doubt as loud as he believes they could ever be without driving a person insane.

After three nights of the doubt he finds his hand creeping up to rest against the point on his neck where he can feel the blood move past and the beat of his heart strong beneath his fingers.

He closes his eyes, listens and feels. Listens to the heartbeat reverberating through the Force and feels the one that echos through his blood to his fingers.

They beat at a different pace.

He feels his own heartbeat quicken at the realisation (the one through the Force stays the same) and pulls his fingers away from his pulse. He takes one steading breath and then another but finds they do very little to quell the panic that is rising. The two heartbeats do not match yet he is certain the one that is communicated through the Force originates from his own body. Knows it like he knows that the Force is powerful, that it flows through everything in the universe.

The heartbeat is not his own yet it originates from inside him. The truth of what it is rests horribly in his stomach. Three steading breathes do not even begin to calm him as he realises that it is no longer himself he has to think about (worry about). No longer just him that needs the body to survive.

There is a chance for this child to make everything right. A chance it will inherit his powers and his dedication to completing his grandfather's legacy. A perfect finishing step in the First Order's victory.

There is a chance that the child will ruin everything (chance that he will ruin everything for it).


	8. Chapter 8

**Based on a prompt from an anon on tumblr: "idk if you're still taking prompts, but if you are would it be possible for something along the lines of Kylo being on the falcon w Han, Rey, etc and having no idea he's pregnant until *someone* else figures it out?Also I really love how you write chewbacca and Kylos interactions. I hope this isn't a bother to ask, I love your writing!" (if you want to send me a prompt of your own just put it in my tumblr ask – my tumblr's 'GoddessofRoyalty')**

 **I mostly used it as an excuse to practice my Chewie because I always feel like I'm the weakest at writing him. Also yeah there are still stuff that I have written myself that need to be edited and posted but again, I posted this, unedited, on tumblr and felt like I needed to clean it up and repost it before I did anything else.**

 **Warnings: mpreg, doing dangerous things while unknowingly pregnant, this one's pretty tame TBH.**

 **((also there's an additional chapter that's not posted on here because of fear of 's mature content disallowance if you want it go to my AO3 and look at the chapter 8 of this over there (same username)))**

His father is arguing with his uncle. He can only hear the side of the conversation that is his father's, Chewbacca obviously keeping his voice low enough for it to not echo through the halls of the ship (despite the fact the acoustics of the ship much more likely to echo him then Han). Han's words aren't giving away what they are actually arguing about just that it is a topic he doesn't want to deal with. Which, really, when it came to Han Solo, was just about any topic.

"Don't waste your energy worrying about them," Kylo tells the scavenger girl when she cautiously eyes the part of the ship the argument is coming from. "Solo has a habit of arguing with everyone he comes across."

'Too much of a free spirit' his (biological) uncle had said to explain Han's actions away to his young son. 'Too much of a stubborn asshole' his mother had said, and really, her explanation was the more likely one. Either way it ended up in the same conclusion: Han Solo disappointing everyone who loved him.

Listening to him argue with one of them brings an aching nostalgia into Kylo's bones. His childhood was filled with the echo's of Han's arguments reaching his ears, normally with a member of the family that was not part of the argument sighing loudly at his father's behaviour. His mother, his uncle Luke, and his uncle Chewie all had their turns arguing with Han and watching Ben while someone else argued with his father. They didn't like him being around when Han was arguing with somebody but it wasn't as if he didn't know what was happening.

"No. I said I'm not dealing with it until we get back and I'm sticking to it. If you really think someone should talk to him about it right away do it yourself. For now I'm just going to get him back to Leia like a told her I would. Everything else comes after that."

Apparently that was the end of the argument (or at least was in Han's eyes) because he was soon storming through the room and back towards the cockpit. Ordering Rey and Finn to follow him on the way.

"And don't you be getting any ideas about doing something stupid while unsupervised. I'll find out about it either from Chewie or whatever ends up happening as a result and you can be assured I will tell your mother." Yes, because apparently despite everything Kylo Ren had done his father still believed that 'I'll tell your mother' was enough to keep him in life. That he leader of the Knights of Ren afraid of his mother's chastisement.

It's not and he isn't, but he still is not going to do anything. Feels too tired to do anything. There is an exhaustion that has been seeping into him over the past few weeks. It is because of everything coming to a head, the knowledge that the final confrontation with his family and chance to finally prove himself to the Supreme Leader being inevitable (and soon) had dragged on more of his energy resources then he thought it would. After what had happened in the last few hours every part of him feels exhausted and really he is grateful to be left alone if only so he could collapse against the wall of the ship without feeling like he is destroying the image he built of Kylo Ren just that bit more.

He isn't left alone though. Chewie is there mere minutes after his father and the other two leave.

Kylo knows from near forgotten childhood experience that once his uncle decides he wants a hug there is little choice but to comply. Chewbacca is strong and fast, and while he would never use his power to harm him family, he isn't against using it in order to trap them in his warm embrace for hours if he feels it necessary. Kylo hopes this one does not last that long. Hopes he will be free of the embarrassing position before any of the others come back (he will not give his father the satisfaction of believing he has accepted even one member of his family back).

He expects the chastisement he gets from his uncle. Expects it and if he is completely honest with himself probably deserves it. What he doesn't expect is the comment about him putting the 'cub' at unnecessary danger.

"What cub?" The question is growled out past a tense jaw, teeth almost painfully clamped together.

He knows his uncle can feel the rest of his body tensing and soon there is a Wookie paw gently petting his hair as if to sooth him. Chewie asks if he didn't know and if it wasn't for the fact there was no breaking his uncle's grip Ren would have torn himself away (either to face him or flee – he isn't sure which).

"Of course I don't know because there is nothing to know." There is nothing there and no reason to believe otherwise.

His uncle turns apologetic but he isn't letting up, isn't letting go. If anything he seems more determined to keep his nephew there and _comfort him_ as Kylo processes the 'difficult news'.

"What evidence do you have?" It must be a mistake. Has to be. Must be the wishful thinking of a foolish Wookie (or maybe the fatalistic thinking – a child is not always good news).

His uncle can smell it (apparently). And it isn't just because he hasn't seen Ren for so long. There is a specific smell to pregnancy and Kylo apparently has it. It takes all of three seconds for the information to settle in the Ren to lose it.

At first his uncle tries to keep him there, tries to sooth him. Eventually it becomes clear that it is a losing fight even for a Wookie and Chewie has no choice but to let go of him lest he hurt himself in his attempts at desperately breaking free of the grip.

Once he is free of the arms he is quick to leave the room. He doesn't want to be there anymore. Wishes he had of just killed his father and been done with it. And his father must know – that was what they were arguing about – his father knows and if it goes anything like how it would when he was a child his mother will know soon enough. If he had just killed his father he wouldn't have to know about it and could just continue on his track in completing the tasks given to him by the Supreme Leader. Could of continue on his track in becoming stronger through the power and guidance of his new master.

Eventually he stops. Stops moving through the ship at a blinding pace. He stops and collapses against a wall. He feels like a child, feels like the word 'cub' should be applied to him not something growing inside him.

He feels as if his world is ending for the second time that day. Feels as if truth and reality has been shifted on its axis and what was up is now down. Feels as if everything he had once been told in life is being shown to be a lie.


	9. Chapter 9

**Prompt from DarkOne: how about an 'I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant' scenario. The child was conceived via rape/dub con on Snoke's orders as part of Kylo's training and he put it out of his mind. Either there are no signs of the pregnancy or the occasional vomitting and a little weight gain. Either way Kylo goes into labor during the Bridge scene which allows Han and Chewie to take Kylo back to the Falcon with everyone, except Chewie, unaware exactly what the problem is. (plus some other stuff in a later comment that I'm not including because I did sort of pick/choose my way through it).**

 **So my brain sort of took this prompt and went its own direction with it (it's funny the stuff happening in the unwritten parts of the fill are more accurate to the prompt then the stuff actually shown within it). I think it's still loyal to the spirit of the prompt but still… sorry about that.**

 **Also Leia sort of took over because my mind was like 'if he went into labour at the bridge it'd make better sense for him to give birth at the actual resistance base' and, then, well, Leia took over.**

 **Oh, I've never been pregnant before (and have no intention of ever becoming pregnant) so I hope I described contractions right. I mean I did some googling and the response was a bit 'different for everyone and often different between contractions'.**

 **Sorry the start of it is a bit more summary than fic but well, how many rewrites of the bridge scene penned by me do we all actually want?**

His world is falling apart. Everything he has spent the last fifteen years working towards seems to be falling apart around him over the last week. At the start of the week he was sure he was about to obtain the map to his uncle and finally have the face off he truly deserved. Now he stands before his father unmasked and feeling like everything is tumbling down around him.

He's about to plunge his lightsaber into his father, about to end at least that horrible connection to his past and the light, when some part of his stomach knots up terribly. It's not a horrible pain, but a sharp one, like the feeling one gets after they eat off food. It's not unbearable or even that terrible but it is enough to distract him. Enough to distract him and his father takes the chance to pull the lightsaber from his grip.

"Ben you're coming home," Han says and the world must really be turning upside down because Kylo Ren feels drawn to listen to it. Feels drawn to agree with what his father wants him to do.

If doing everything right seems to be leading to everything falling to pieces maybe going home might give him the chance to fix everything and return to Snoke with success instead of the constant failures that seem to be accumulating. Might give him a chance to complete the goal he had at the start of the week even if not in the originally planned way.

His trip to the ship involves two more twists to his insides, but he pays them no mind. They're probably nothing. Probably just a physical reaction to all the stress of the past few days. A reaction to watching so many years work being undone in such a short amount of time.

It makes sense that it gets worse once he is on the Falcon. Gets worse as he gets further and further away from the Supreme Leader and closer and closer to his family. Maybe the Force was guiding him wrong in that moment, maybe it wasn't the Force at all but his weakness telling him to go with his father.

Chewbacca is annoyingly concerned about him. Constantly asking if he is feeling okay and advising him to settle down, to rest. He's worse after the twinges of pain, making sad noises as if he can sense that Kylo is suffering from something. Which he shouldn't be able to, because Ren has been schooling his features and while he isn't the best at it he can do a passable job (then again his uncle knew him as a child, perhaps his face will always be a book to his family).

With enough angry words and threatened violence (even without his lightsaber Kylo Ren is hardly without means of defending himself) the Wookie reluctantly leaves him alone.

He thinks that maybe if he comes up with a plan the pain will stop. If he knows what he is going to do once he gets to resistance and figure out how it will help him complete the Supreme Leader's wishes he will stop having a physical reaction to his anxiety. The punishment for making the wrong choice will go away once he finds the way to make the best use of it.

Instead he finds the pains grow both in level and frequency. By the time they reach the resistance base they have turned from sporadic ignorable aches to semi-regular sharp feelings that he cannot help but grimace and breathe through.

There is relief between them though and he hopes his inevitable march through the base is during one of those moments. He does not want to be seen by his enemies when he cannot help but flinch in pain. He wants them to fear him so when he inevitable figures out the true reason he has been led to them and he returns to his rightful side they will still feel terror when they face him.

His luck is not such and his insides burn when the ship touches down. It will pass eventually like all the others have so he just stays where he has hidden himself on the ship, far away from the other passengers and crew. He hopes it will go away before they come to find him.

His mother is the one to come get him. She finds him just as the pain takes a turn for the worst and he cannot help but curl around his stomach in response to it.

His mother calls his name (his birth name, the one he abandoned because of the weakness it represented) and moves so she can reach him. So she can come and help support him as the pain tears its way through his body and he cannot bite back a groan at it.

"Ben," she says, her hand coming to rest on his stomach. "Just breath. I know it hurts but you have to breathe through them."

How can she know it hurts? What shared experience could possibly be at the base of this? His pain is his body making physical the uncertainty he feels about his decisions. Every decision his mother ever made in life is one she had been sure of. She would never let her uncertainty blind her to a point where she gained a physical reaction to it.

The pain goes away as it did every other time and Ren prepares to regain himself. If the only person who saw him weak his mother he can live with it. She had been witness to his childhood and as such so much more of his weaknesses than he'd allow any other person to know about and live. One more before his victory over her was an acceptable insult to bear. Still, he does not want to make her believe the weakness is a trait he had continued in her absence. Wants her to know it was only a momentary lapse of control and strength. So he will remask himself into Kylo Ren (as much as he can without his actual mask) now he is able to. Apparently she has other plans.

"How close together are they?" she asks. Her hand not leaving his stomach where she seems to subconsciously rub her thumb in a comforting motion.

"How close together are what?"

"Your contractions." She says it as if it is simple and obvious. Like it is a truth they should both just _know_.

It is impossible. He cannot be having contractions because he isn't pregnant. He can become pregnant. He had known that since he was a child when his uncle accidently fell pregnant and it was decided that it was probably getter to get him tested so when he was older he would at least have warning if it was possible. He can get pregnant but he wasn't. Despite the fact he was completely capable of falling pregnant and every test available said there wasn't anything physically stopping him from falling pregnant he wasn't. Despite his many (Supreme Leader ordered) attempts at getting pregnant he wasn't. He isn't pregnant and therefore cannot be having contractions.

He tells his mother as such. Not about the attempts or the tests, just the fact that he is not pregnant and therefore cannot be having contractions. He puts his anger into the words, his anger at himself and the Force for leading him back to her and into the conversation. He puts his anger into his words and hides the fear that she might be right and the tests wrong.

She gives him a sad, knowing smile. One that even on her aged face is exactly the same as it had been when he was a child. "You can't feel it?"

"There is nothing to feel." He is not pregnant. If he is not pregnant he cannot be in labour. If he cannot be in labour he cannot be having contractions.

"There is," his mother says and she reaches up with one hand to grab one of his. He could overpower her, could pull his hand away and attack her. Could snap her neck and end it all now. Maybe that is the reason the Force led him here, to remove the Resistance's most competent leader.

He doesn't.

He lets her take his hand and place it on his stomach. Lets her rest her own hand over his.

She reaches for him with the Force and he almost cries just at that. The feeling of his mother is a nostalgic ache. One last felt when he was very young and nervous about being left to his uncle's care. An aching that makes him want to reach out and hold her and never let go. He hates his mother and what she stands for but he craves the feeling of her in the same way a child craves their bed the first night they sleep away from home.

She doesn't let it rest. Doesn't let him bask in her energy and the feeling of closeness that comes with it. Her presence moves and beckons him to follow. He does and finds it leads him to within his own body. Finds it leads him to his stomach and womb and the not quiet fully formed consciousness that rests within it.

She is right and the tests are wrong and going by the feeling of his body around the unborn consciousness he is in labour. He is in labour and the pains he has been feeling are not the Force cursing him or his body giving physical pain to the uncertainty within him but contractions.

He tears himself away but not fast enough. He feels the next set of contractions both inside and out. He feels his waters break and the child's panic at it.

He cannot help but reconnect to try and calm it but his mother pulls him away.

"It's a waste of energy," she tells him, trying to calm his rage at her actions. "They can't understand what is happening. As far as they are know the world is ending."

It takes a couple of seconds for the reality of it all to settle into him. He is pregnant. Had been for a while despite the lack of physical evidence and tests that said otherwise. He is pregnant and the Force had guided him back to his family for his labour. Guided him back either because he needs to be there or as punishment. He is not sure which.

He feels his legs collapse under him. Feels his mother catch him and hold him up. She was always much stronger then she looked.

The contraction and shock passes but he cannot rebuild the mask of Kylo Ren. There is still too much panic and uncertainty in him. Too much of him trying to desperately piece together what he knows and find out what path he is supposed to take. Too much of Ben Solo using the distraction to regrow the childhood weaknesses within him.

"Come on. We need to get you a medic." Skywalker's don't do childbirth well. He remembers his mother and uncle making that joke after his cousin was born and all evidence suggested that it was a truth. Maybe that is the reasons the Force guided him to go with his father. The First Order may not have fallen but Starkiller base had. There is no knowing where he would be if he had stayed there. Not knowing how many resources would survive. The resistance base is no specialised medical facility but its resources are better than nothing and his mother will ensure he will get anything he needs so long as it is obtainable.

It is better he suffer humiliation at the hands of his enemy then risk them both dying.

Fear is quick to take its chance at tugging at him. Takes what he knows and fuels its own flames. Whatever indicators the tests were looking for must not have been there. His body has not been acting pregnant despite being so. The child has somehow survived despite his body seemingly not responding to it until now. What other things will it fail to do?

For the moment Kylo Ren does not exist. Kylo Ren has been beaten out by Ben Solo. Ben Solo is scared and desperately needs someone to tell him that there is some likelihood of them both surviving.

Ben Solo would follow his mother anywhere if it meant obtaining that.


	10. Chapter 10

**Prompt:** **An idea- the resistance is celebrating some large scale victory, Kylo is Ben after having defected and providing useful first order info. Poe is back on base for the celebration and spots his childhood friend, who has been shying away from crowds and others since he started to show(u had to know that was coming), and decides it's time to reconnect. Cue insecure and self conscious Ben who wants to fix things but doesn't know how, and Poe who's just relieved it's all over and they can rebuild**

 **I seem to be developing this rule of thumb that Kylo doesn't really show all that much throughout his pregnancy so it let me push this a bit further back then I would with any other character. Also vague father is vague and whoever you want him to be.**

 **Warnings: mpreg, some problematic statements,**

The whole camp is excited. The years of being constantly afraid that tomorrow might be their last finally broken and the high from that knowledge intoxicating everyone it touches. There are more feats of bravery now then there had been in the final battle. If they had managed to defeat the Empire then there was a chance the girl would like you back. A chance that you could reconcile with the person who seemed to hate you. A chance that you could totally do that stupid stunt that you had only heard about in rumours.

There were kisses and drunken stunts (that either succeeded spectacularly or failed just as spectacularly) and Poe could see the General and her brother watching it all joyfully, smiling and laughing at the antics of those who considered them heroes.

Poe did not escape the high of the victory himself. He could feel it rushing through his veins telling him he could totally do all those impossible things that he previously would never attempt.

It is probably why he approaches Ben. Approaches him where he stands to the side of it all, watching everyone enjoy themselves but not joining in (and not seeming to get his own enjoyment from merely viewing like his mother and uncle).

"Not going to join in?"

"I can't," Ben indicates at his stomach and the bulge that is barely visible. It is only slightly larger than a size that could be easily confused with a pudge from a large meal, only just making clear what was actually happening within Ben's body.

"I'll give you that you can't drink but that doesn't mean you can't join in on the rest of it. I am sure there are plenty of people who'd love to see what things the Force can do."

Ben gives him a look and Poe half expects to be forced to endure a reminder about the importance of the Force and those who wield it and how they shouldn't squander their talents on trivial matters. He had certainly listened to enough of them as a child when he tried to convince Ben to use it to get some treat down that had been hidden on top shelves (which even back then he was sure Luke had placed up there as an incentive for his nephew to try and bring down with his powers). No lecture comes; instead Ben just sighs and looks away. "I doubt they would want me to join them, and anyway they have my cousin to show off my family's powers for their entertainment."

"I don't think any of them would mind much if you joined in."

"I disagree."

Poe didn't come to him in order to argue (he isn't entirely sure what he actually came over for but he knows it isn't an argument) so he lets the conversation drop.

"You can go back and join the rest of them. I don't need to be watched."

"I'm not here to watch you." Of course Ben didn't need to be watched. There was no reason to fear that he would cause anyone else harm (he had more than proven himself loyal to their side) and no reason to believe he would intentionally try to cause himself harm while the child was so dependent on his body for its life.

"Then what are you here for?"

"I just wanted to see how you were. I haven't seen you in a while. And the little one I guess." It is a concept he is still trying to get his head around, although it is slightly easier now there is a visible sign. Not an entirely foreign or impossible concept, just different, and not what Poe had expected when he finally met Ben Solo again after years of him being Kylo Ren. If he had been asked only months before which of the two of them would first have children Poe would have answered himself.

"I'm fine. They're fine. We're both fine."

"Just fine?"

"I don't think I'll ever be able to be anything better then 'fine'."

"Why not?" Ben answers the question with a darkening look that reminds Poe so much of Kylo Ren and, oh. "You know that stuff's in the past right."

"That doesn't change the fact the Hosnian system no longer exists."

"That wasn't actually you though."

"I helped them obtains the Death Star designs upon which they based it off of. I helped them gather materials. I stood by and watched as the order was made to fire it and did nothing. The blame of it rests on my shoulders." Poe guesses he does have a point. The destruction of the Hosnian system was a horrible loss of life, there was no way around it, but he still cannot find himself placing the blame for it on Ben. At least, not anymore.

"I think enough people have paid for that crime."

"Why do you defend me? I tortured you in order to find the location of your droid that carried the map to my uncle in my attempts to kill him and the rest of my family."

"You then defected and came home to your mother. Brining with you a wealth of information about the First Order that not even Finn could give us. Which you then used to bring them down at great risk to yourself." And the child. It is probably part of the reason Poe struggles to believe Ben is as far along as he is. Until recently he had been acting as if there was no child inside him, had been cutting through Stormtroopers as if one stray blaster shot wouldn't end a life growing inside him (as if he wasn't putting two lives on the line instead of one).

"That doesn't change what I've done."

"You were tricked by Snoke." As far as Poe understood (and he had taken a great deal of time in trying to understand), Snoke had come to a young Ben Solo and, preying on his insecurities, convinced him that Snoke had the means of making him more powerfully then Luke did.

"That doesn't change the fact I believed him in the first place."

"You were young." Poe doesn't want to be arguing with him. He didn't come over to him to argue about whether or not Ben deserved to be redeemed or not. He didn't want to think about it, he just wanted to see if he could regain something of the relationship he used to have with his friend.

"I was old enough to know better."

Poe knows that Ben isn't actually trying to be argumentative but he cannot help the want to scream in frustration at his constant attempts to build a wall between himself and everyone else. Poe knows he isn't the only one, he had talked to the General about it and Leia felt just as lost as to how to help her son (which broke Poe's heart). He wants to help Ben but it hurts to try and make (or more accurately remake) a relationship with him only to be closed off at every attempt.

He is saved from having to rebut the point. Saved from having to continue the argument when Ben's attention is distracted from him and apparently onto the child within from the way his hand comes to brush against his stomach and his eyes turn downwards.

As much as Poe is glad not to have to try and redirect the conversation away from Ben's self-hatred he cannot help but worry about something going wrong with either him or the child (despite the recklessness they had both already survived). "You okay?"

"Yes, they're just moving."

"You can feel it?" Poe doesn't know all that much about pregnancy (never had the need or want) so he really has no clue as to when the child should start moving. Still, he cannot help but feel wonder at the idea of there being evidence that they were more than a slowly growing mass inside another.

"Yes."

Poe reaches his hand out but pauses before it reaches Ben's stomach, their relationship still so fractured he is not sure where he stands with the other. "May I?"

"You may, I doubt you will feel anything though," Ben removes his hand and Poe's takes its place. He is right, there is nothing to feel but the bulge in the stomach that Poe swears is smaller than possible for how far along he knows Ben is (not that he would exactly know how large he should be).

"What does it feel like? For you?"

"It's just movement. Nothing specific, just a fluttering. It's like how they feel in the Force but physical."

Poe doesn't really understand the Force and figures he never will. He certainly doesn't know what a person (or foetus) feels like within the Force but judging by the small smile that is on Ben's face it is a good thing. "They must be healthy then." Despite everything Ben had done to himself since defecting both he and the child seem to have survived and flourished.

"Yes, they are." There is a pride to the words that Poe has not heard for a while. A pride that is not tinged with self-hatred or doubt (nor with the self-glorification of Kylo Ren).

"You love them."

"Of course I do. Doesn't every mother love their child?"

Poe knew his mother had loved him, and he knows Leia loves Ben and had loved him even when they were on opposing sides. However he is also sure there are mothers in the galaxy who don't love their children. He isn't about to say that though. "They're lucky to have you as their mother," he says instead, removing his hand from Ben's stomach.

"I doubt that highly. I have no idea how to be a mother."

"You're not alone in this. You have Leia to teach you the things you don't know. You have the rest of your family to support you and… me. If you'll let me that is."

Ben snorts and Poe fears that it will be followed by denial and the wall turned permanent. "Why would you want to help me?"

"Because we're friends?" Were friends, and Poe hopes still are friends. Hopes that he can rebuild the friendship that was lost all those years ago. The one that was destroyed by Snoke and his whispering's in Ben's ears.

"Are we?"

"I hope so."

"Even after everything?" Ben looks confused. It is strange, an expression that Poe most associates with Ben before Snoke on the face of the man now. Strange but makes him hope that the Ben he knew is still there under all the guilt and self-hatred.

"That's all the in past. We won. The First Order is no more. I was hoping we could try again?"

There is a hopefully expression on Ben's face, one where he looks like he cannot believe Poe is even real in front of him. It is quickly gone though, disappeared back under the passive melancholic expression he seems to constantly have. "If that is what you want then I'll be willing to try as well."

"Yes. It is."


	11. Chapter 11

**Prompt (well, thing I turned into a prompt):** is there any chance of your headcanons on Kylo being pregnant during the final battle/miscarrying (the ones from the "he's actually in pain" gif) being turned into a fic? Or like even as a side story? Bc I need more haha. Zero pressure though, it's just such an interesting interpretation and that scene lends itself so well to it, it would be cool to see that explored a little more

 **It's been a while since I watched the movie so IDK how accurate this is to the actual fight (probably why I skimmed it).**

 **Warnings: miscarriage, a few problematic statements throughout**

His own pain shoots through him first.

The power within the Wookie's weapon is strong and Kylo nearly goes tumbling over the edge of the catwalk like his father. He braces himself, both with his body and the Force in order to stop himself from plummeting. The hit still does damage, still tears into his body. He survives it, so he can keep going and remove the other threats to the First Order that still are on the planet (and then he will work on getting to his uncle).

 _Them_ slipping hits him second.

It is after he has braced himself and returned the energy to where it usually rests. The Force has always been drawn to them. Had been drawn to them from the second it first felt them those months ago and seemed to constantly flow around them. So it goes back there only to find that something is wrong.

At first it feels like nothing worthy of concern, just an idle aches that means the blow hit closer than he would want it to. Then they start to fade. The consciousness that is more a flutter then a mind starts to slow disappear from his awareness.

He knows it is not his powers weakening.

It is clear what he has to do next.

He has to retreat. He cannot stay there where more blows might come that will do damage to the already fading presence. If he can get himself somewhere safe he can meditate and _save_ them. His grandfather kept himself alive for years with his powers alone. Kylo Ren can keep a foetus alive for a few months before they can be born (or hopefully, until his body has healed enough to support them without any added help). He will retreat and deal with the others later.

It is as the base shudders with the echo of an explosion that he realises that all hope is lost.

 _They_ are fading too much, fading too quickly. He will not be able to find a place to shut everything out and focus on them fast enough.

There is nothing he can do so save them. Despite his strength and training he has failed to protect them. Failed to keep them from harm caused by outside forces. He had believed he could continue battling despite them being nestled inside him. Believed that his power would be enough to protect them no matter what risk they were currently under. He was wrong.

He cannot seem to stop focusing on it. Cannot stop himself from feeling their presence fade further and further away. Cannot stop himself from feeling his failure to protect them in their slow but rapid removal from existence. Cannot block out awareness of his weakness.

He strikes the place the hit landed. Strikes the place that signifies his body's failure to protect them. Strikes it and feels pain shoot through him. He deserves to suffer for his failure. The child isn't going to survive anyway, it doesn't matter that the blow is causing damage to them as well.

He will return to the battle.

He can feel where the traitor and the girl are. _Their_ presences burn bright in the Force. He knows where they are and knows where they are going and knows a path that will allow him to cut them off.

If he can at least get them then he will have done something right. If he can get them without losing himself to his weakness he will at least know the Supreme Leader's teachings weren't for nothing.

He keeps hitting the spot.

Keeps hitting it and tries to gain strength from the pain. Tries to turn his grief and anger into sources of power.

He manages to cut the traitor down. Despite the pain and grief he feels he manages to win that fight. Manages to win the battle despite the fact he can barely feel the presence anymore. That he knows his unborn child's life will end in the snowy fields he is currently fighting in.

It only gets worse as he fights the girl. He has to focus, truly focus, to feel them at all and he cannot afford to do that with her attacking.

He wants to just sit down and feel them. Feel their presence as it fades, try and cement the memory of them (not that there is much of them to remember) in his mind. Instead he has to fight. Has to keep fighting despite his want to curl up and cry. He cannot disappoint the Supreme Leader. Not now. Not after everything else appears to be falling apart. He must claim at least one victory from it all.

He loses.

Loses them both at the same time. He watches the girl on the other side of the crevice that is the planet attempting to cave in on itself. Watches her walk away, out of his reach. Watches it as he feels the internal presence finally fade to nothing.

He is left with nothing.

He is left with no victory and no family and the sickening feeling of emptiness inside him.

He doesn't know if he will recover from it.

He doesn't know if he is talking about his physical injuries or the one in his heart.


	12. Chapter 12

**Prompt: As a prompt, what if Ben never went darkside and instead works as a smuggler w Han and chewie? Ben without kylos insecurities, who is so similar to his father but even more so to his mother. Everything's a+ until whoops Ben awkwardly tells his dad and uncle he's pregnant and doesn't know who the father is. Han knows he's gonna have to tell leia he let their dumb kid get into trouble but really he's mostly impressed the skywalkers can still find ways to surprise him after all these years**

 **So despite the fact I FUCKING LOVE THE LAST LINE of the prompt I failed to completely hit it... sorry.**

 **Also there's blink-and-you'll-miss-it-Skysolo, I couldn't help myself.**

 **Warnings: unhealthy familiar relationship (Han isn't abusive just... it's a relationship that heavily relies on insults for communication), mpreg, accidental pregnancy, anonymous drunk sex,**

Ben had vanished the second the ship had touched down on the planet. Han hadn't given it much mind. Ben would often disappear for hours on end and the two of them had a silent agreement that so long as Han didn't ask he could pretend it was some 'Force-nonsense' that kept his son busy and not seedy bars and even seedier men. Ben could look after himself and anyway it wasn't like they were the cleanest men in the galaxy themselves. When Chewie made a concerned noise at the hast of Ben's departure Han had told him not to overthink it.

When Ben had returned to the ship, curses under breath, and stormed into his room with hardly a word to his father or uncle Han had to admit the Wookie might be right. Still, he hadn't been about to poke at his son's temper and they had gotten their next job. If Ben needed something from the planet he should have said so before he stormed into his room. It was time for them to set off.

A few hours later and his son showed his face again but looked like he had received the worst news imaginable and Han was even less sure that he made the right call ignoring his sons mood and actions.

"Nice of you to finally show your face." So maybe Han wasn't so good at touchy-feely stuff. Shoot him. Being closed off had kept him alive and he had taught his son to be much the same.

"What's got you in such a bad mood?" he demanded after his son gave a response of a scoff and a glare. He ignored Chewie's threat to _watch his tone._ Ben was his son and he would talk to him how he wanted to. Anyway, the roll of Ben's eyes showed that he didn't much care about his uncle's words either.

"It's nothing," Ben snapped then took a step and paused. His expression was enough to tell Han he wasn't going to like whatever it was before the words even left his son's mouth. "I'm pregnant."

"I'm sorry. You're what?"

"Pregnant. I know you know what that is."

Han did know what it was but it was sort of hard to process the idea of his son being the pregnant one.

"What? How?"

"Well when one person of reasonable attractiveness buys another a drink at a bar and the other decides that-"

Ben dodged the spanner that was thrown at him but Han hadn't meant for it to actually hit him. He had meant for it to get him to shut up, which it did. Chewie, of course, didn't care. He shouldn't be throwing things at his son, especially when he was pregnant.

"At least tell me you know who the father is."

"I don't exactly get their names." Of course he didn't because he was too much like his father had been before Han had gotten dragged into the Rebellion and a set of twins that didn't even know they were twins at the start. Ben was too much like his father but at least Han hadn't ended up pregnant from his anonymous sex (and he was pretty sure hadn't gotten anyone else pregnant).

"Your mother is gonna' kill me," Han said as Chewie decided he couldn't stand it anymore and went to hug and comfort his nephew and tell him that everything was going to be alright.

"Of course everything's gonna' be alright for him. Leia's gonna' kill me not him." Which he might deserve. He should have kept a better eye on his son and not just brushed it all out of his mind with a 'Ben can take care of himself'. He was partially responsible for the mess so he should take the blame for it.

"We don't have to tell her," Ben replied and Chewie made an offended noise before Han had a chance to reply himself.

"Of course we're telling her. And you're gonna' stay with her until… I don't know." Leia would have the resources to make sure Ben and the kid were looked after. She'd know how to deal with it better then Han as well. She would make sure Ben and the kid were safe and content. After she had killed Han for letting it happen in the first place.

"You're not going to kick me out over this."

"Don't argue with me about this. I'm not kicking you out. This just ain't the life to raise a kid in." Han had always known that. He had given it up when Ben was born and despite the fact it had nearly driven him up the damned wall he would have done it again. He had only gone back once Ben was safely within Luke's tutelage. He came back and picked his son up a couple of years later after a distressed Holo from him. By that point Ben had been old enough for a smuggler's lifestyle. Had been old enough to decide to take it up. A newborn wouldn't be and it wouldn't be fair to try and force it on them.

Ben knew it as well so he could glare at his father all he wanted they both knew he would agree in the end. "You can tell her then."

Han went to argue but a glare from Chewie silenced him. He had a feeling until they dropped Ben off to Leia he'd be walking on eggshells from fear of a Wookie's wrath.

"Fine." Han stood and left the room. There was no point putting off the inevitable. Leia was going to kill him and he'd rather start the grovelling sooner rather than later. Maybe by the time they arrived to her she would have forgiven him (unlikely, he had a feeling this would be something he'd be being punished for for years). Then he could deal with the fact he was going to become a grandfather.

And then he could deal with the fact he was (partially) responsible for another Skywalker coming into existence. Hopefully the universe could survive them all and the crazy that seemed to follow them like a shadow.


	13. Chapter 13

**Prompt: How about Poe finding Kylo as he suffers a miscarriage? Or maybe just saving him? Thank you so much.**

 **So if any of you know one of the stories about Mary Shelley's miscarriages (involving her husband & a doppelganger) then you'll know what inspired this story. Also it's short but like I think it captured what I wanted to do this idea (which yeah I did take some artistic license with and focus on the "saving him" more than the finding him as he suffers it but eh). **

**Warnings: miscarriage, possible death of character (it's left unanswered),**

"Get a bath of ice!" he yells at them as he approaches the base. Most of the people that come running just stand there staring at him and the person he is supporting but Jess is there with them and she knows him well enough to not question what he says. She orders two of the others to go get the bath ready and then comes to support the weight of Kylo Ren on the other side.

Ren is heavy. So heavy and he seems to only be getting heavier by the second as his conscious slips further and further away. Poe wouldn't be able to carry him alone for much longer and he is grateful for the help Jessika gives him.

Between the two of them they manage to drag him into one the one house (well, hut) they had actually been leant which includes a bathroom that that has an actual bath and sure enough it had been filled with ice and water. It is a struggle to get Ren into the bath, especially when he stirs at the feeling of the cold and tries to fight them despite his weakened state, but they managed to get him into it, uncaring that his clothing are instantly soaked through (Poe knows that they are probably already ruined anyway).

"Do you need me to get a medic?" Jessika asks. She knows that there must be a point to such treatment. That something must be going wrong and the ice is there to stop it from getting worse.

"Yes."

"What should I tell them?"

"He's bleeding out. He's," Poe isn't entirely sure if he should say it. If Kylo wants it to be shared with anyone at all but he figures it's better for the medic to know what they are going to be dealing with and he trusts Jess not to share with those who are likely waiting outside, desperate for an explanation for why Kylo Ren is in the state he is in. "He's had a miscarriage."

"A miscarriage?" Poe watches her gaze turn to Ren's stomach and the thick layer of robe that reveals nothing as to the state of what is hidden beneath it. He knows it to be true though. Knows because he watched as Kylo Ren curled around it. Watched as he begged it not to happen. Jess looks back at him and his face apparently tells her enough that she knows it to be the truth. "Right," she says, straightening up, "I'll be right back."

She leaves him there with the pale unconscious Kylo Ren. Leaves him there to watch the slow and shallow rise and fall of his chest. Leaves him there feeling like he is waiting for it to stop.

He doesn't know if he made it in time. He had tried to get Ren back to his base as soon as he realised what was happening but the other man had fought him at first. Had told him that he was fine and he should go away and that he _didn't need you anymore_. Of course then Ren had swayed and Poe only just caught him before he fell to the ground. It had been clear then who had won the argument.

At first Poe had thought they would be fine. That he could get Ren back to his base and a medic and everything would be fine. As time passed so had Kylo's strength and Poe found himself less guiding the man and more carrying him. By the time they had made it to the base Poe was almost sure it was too late.

He still is half-sure it is too late. Ren looks too pale, and his breathing is hardly even. The ice may slow down the bleeding but it will hardly stop it and if he has already lost too much there isn't much that can be done. Unless the medic arrives soon and has something that can help that doesn't require them obtaining it from somewhere else there is still a good chance that his life could slip away with the child's.

"Poe." Ren's voice is thin and barely audible but in the quiet of the room Poe hears it as if it was screamed.

"Yes?"

"Why?"

Poe knows there is little point in replying. Kylo Ren, if he is even conscious anymore, is so close to slipping under that he will hardly remember what Poe replies with. He knows there is no point replying but he still feels the need to articulate an answer. To explain why he did what he did and why he couldn't just leave Ren there, scared and _alone_ as his body tried to destroy itself along with the child it had already purged.

"Because it was the right thing to do."


	14. Chapter 14

**Prompt: Kylo ends up having a stillborn child while in resistance base. He's been there for months, each one rougher than the last. Those who care for him, (family, childhood friends like Poe)had worried but hoped it could end happy just this once. They are used to him shutting out but he is hurting and upset, even he is surprised at how bad he wanted this child. If possible blood and tears are always great haha.**

 **I feel like I hit the heart of this prompt but missed some of the higher details of it passed being implied.**

 **Warnings: mpreg, stillbirth**

Pregnancy had not been kind to him. Neither had labour nor delivery.

It was supposed to be worth it in the end. That was what all the stories had said. What his mother told him as his body paid the price of bringing them into the world. It was all worth it in the end when you have a baby, your baby, in your arms instead of your body. Worth it when you watch them grow.

That wasn't what he got though. He didn't get a wide eyed infant trying to take in as much of the world it had just been born into as possible.

No. All he got was more death.

He had hated them at first. Hated them as they claimed territory within his body as their own. As they forced him to sustain them at the cost of his resources.

At some point the hate had turned to love. At some point he had given so much of himself to them that he could not help but look forward to seeing what they did with it.

They did not allow him that.

They had taken from him all they could and refused him his reward at the end. Made him pay all the price without giving him anything to show for it but more pain.

They were perfect apart from that one fact.

So very perfect, with ten toes and fingers. He could see that they had his nose and the tuft of hair on their head was the same black as his. They were perfect in every way.

They were also still. So still. Deathly still.

They were dead.

No, they were never alive.

"It is probably for the best," he says as his holds their limp body. His mother watches him carefully fighting the tears that threaten to gather in her eyes.

He knows the words are true. He cannot offer them much. He has no title or power of his own anymore. The only legacy they could possibly inherit from him being that of murder and deception. The only thing he can offer them is the power that comes with Skywalker blood and he is starting to wonder if his father was right in saying that the power carries a curse that comes along with it.

He sees no point giving them a name. No matter how his mother begs for one to bury them under he cannot see reason to give them something they have no ability to use. There will be no tombstone anyway, he wants for them to be cremated.

"If you must really have a name to burn them under give them mine," he doesn't say which when he snaps at his mother after one too many times asked about it. She leaves him alone after that.

They all leave him alone after that. All give him space and pick their words all too carefully when they are around him.

Everyone seems to be pulled under the same dark cloud that took him. They all feel as if they are in mourning as well. Which makes little sense. No-one else had reason to care about the child. It was not a signal of good news, only bad. He just couldn't hate it because he shared his body with it. Couldn't hate it because he put the only good left in him into it. The rest of them should be glad for it to be gone. A neat conclusion for a messy problem. If he had any control over his emotions he would be as well.

Mostly he tries not to think about it. That is near impossible though. There is little else to occupy his thoughts and the ache in his body from carrying and birthing them means that no matter what other topic he tries to distract his mind with he always finds his thoughts swimming back to them. Always finds himself thinking about them.

He wonders what their temperament would have been. Wonders if they would have been a sweet child or inherit his fire even before they could talk. He wonders what it would have been like to see them watching him. To see them smile and reach out to touch him. He wonders what their cries would have sounded like.

He doesn't know what he hates more: the knowledge that they are dead or his brains constant suggestions of what they might have been like had been alive.


	15. Chapter 15

**Prompt: another "Kylo Ren is captured by the Resistance in labor". Kylo plans to escape with his baby as soon as he's given birth, but a difficult delivery means he's dependent on his family for longer than planned and he finds himself enjoying the TLC from his parents and uncles.**

 **Tense is a bit wibbly-wobbaly but that's because it's very much filled 'things that happened in the past' and 'things that are happening in the present' being intermixed – still, sorry if it sounds jarring.**

 **So naming the baby Anakin was REALLY WEIRD. Also, I don't actually know what a week old baby can do (I have met week old babies... I'm really bad at remembering what milestones they hit at what times) so I apologise if I made the kid more capable than it should be.**

 **Warnings: mpreg, vague talking of a difficult birth**

He isn't supposed to still be there.

He was supposed to leave a week ago. Supposed to take his child the second they were born and leave to return to the First Order and the Supreme Leader.

Childbirth had ended up harder than he had expected. Had ended up with him horse from screaming and stiches in a part of his body that meant every movement shot agony though him. He had ended up on bed-rest, and despite the fact he hated being trapped within the confines on one room (one bed), he didn't have the energy to stand for long. Leaving was an impossibility.

His family for the most part leaves him alone to heal. They make sure he is fed and comfortable, and that he gets to spend time with his son (named Anakin only to cause his mother to scowl) without being overwhelmed by him.

His body is slow to heal and even a week later he still finds walking to be an agony that he does not look forward too. It makes even his dislike of seeing the same four walls of the room in the Resistance Base a lesser of two evils.

His mother had given him a holo-pad filled with books to help him stave off border. His father and uncles just started spending more and more time with him as it got clearer he hated being stuck in the room.

At first he had wanted to argue with them, to scream at them and demand for their deaths, but he still felt exhausted from the birth and his throat scratchy and sore from the exhortation it had gone through in it. He didn't have the energy or voice to yell at them, so he had sullenly ignored their presences unless they involved his son. Eventually he had regained his strength and voice but then he had lost his fire. They had spent the week fretting over him (as much as any of them could _fret_ ). Had spent it doing everything they could to make sure he was healing and comfortable and dancing around the topics they knew might cause his distress or hated. They had treated him as if he was fragile but never as if he was weak.

He finds himself struggling to want to go back to the First Order. Struggling to want to go back to the Supreme Leader who had sent him into battle despite the fact he was nine months pregnant because he should be strong enough for it to not slow him down. Struggling to want to go back to the Supreme Leader who had refused to let him lighten up on his training because of the strain of the child on his body.

"How are you feeling?" Luke asks him when he walks into the room. He has the same cautious look about him that he does every time (the same cautious feeling through the Force). As if he is waiting for Kylo to blow up, waiting for the violence and demands that had seemed to be stripped of him when he gave birth. He doesn't have a part of the Falcon with him. Which means he probably plans on actually talking to his nephew, instead of silently restoring the piece of the ship to what it had been before Han lost it, giving him his space while still being there should he need it.

"Better," Ren replies and watches as Luke goes over to pick up Anakin and bring him over to Ren who greedily takes his son into his arms.

"Still sore?"

"Yes." He stares down at his sons face and almost regrets giving him the name merely to spite his mother. Kylo knows what is like to be named after a ghost, had stripped himself of the name because he could not stand the legacy. He shouldn't have subjected his child to the same. Still, Anakin is his name now and it is too late for him to change it.

"You'll heal eventually," Luke says and settles himself down into one of the chairs that are permanently by the bedside. The chairs that seem to be filled with a member of his family more often or not, waiting to complete any task he needs of them.

"Yes. I will." He wishes he had healed faster. Wishes it had only taken a couple of days before he had been able to take his child and carve his way through the base to a ship and back to the First Order. Wishes it hadn't taken so long that he found a weird complacency within the base. That it hadn't taken so long that his confrontations with his family have both been long over and not yet had.

"What are you going to do when you are?" Luke asks and Ren cannot help but turn his attention onto his uncle. Anakin doesn't seem to mind, happy where he is cuddled against his mother's chest despite the fact he does not have his attention anymore.

"Go back." What else would he do? He isn't going to stay where he is. Is going to return to where he belongs in the galaxy, return to the Supreme Leader's side and help restore everything to how it rightfully should be.

Luke gives him a look as if he doubts the truth to the statement but Kylo cares little what he thinks. Had never cared what his uncle thought of him after the Supreme Leader showed him all the man's flaws. "Are you taking him with you?" Luke asks, leaning over to gently brush Anakin's face, and Ren watches his son's attention turn onto Luke as the baby give a small smile that Luke returns.

"Of course."

"Is that really the life you want for him?" The smile on Luke's face fades and Anakin's reacts in turn and Kylo finds himself mimicking them both. He hadn't thought about it. Not really. He had only thought about the fact the Supreme Leader needed him and he needed Anakin. He hadn't thought about what he was going to do with a baby when he returned. He hadn't thought about what would happen when he inevitably was needed on a mission that he would not be able to take his child on.

"I'll figure it out."

"You could stay here," Luke says and Ren studies his uncle's face but finds no tell of what he means by the words. Finds no tell so he takes his assumption and runs with hit.

"And what? Join the Resistance? I don't think I'd make a good fit for it."

"No. Just... we can help you. Help you make sure he's taken care of and..." Luke pauses and Ren watches a frown grown on his uncle's as he picks his next words, "help you figure out what you want to do next."

"I already know what I want to do. I want my body to heal so I can return to my teacher," he throws the word in just because he knows it will pain Luke. To remind him that Kylo no longer answers to him but has someone else to guide him in the ways of the Force. To remind him that he is no longer needed.

Luke shuts his eyes and his face is pained and that is exactly the reaction Ren wanted. When he goes to stand and reaches to take Anakin to return him to his crib Kylo finds himself fighting back the urge to beg him not to go. To not leave him alone in the room with the four walls and a baby he hardly knows how to care for. "Just, think over it will you? There are other options available to you then going back to him, than taking Anakin to him."

He leaves the room and Ren finds himself staring over at the crib and his son, happily ignorant to the momentous decision his mother will soon have to make. He finds himself staring at his son and trying to think of exactly what life he wants for him.


	16. Chapter 16

**Prompt:** **Kylo is Ben, still studying with luke when he gets pregnant at like 18? He either doesn't realize right away or is too nervous/embarrassed to just tell his uncle so he doesn't until he's already several months in. Cue little Rey being curious and protective of her older cousin, Luke being supportive but flustered because Ben's so young and ofc dealing wthe fallout of Leia &Han finding out what happened "on his watch"but Rey doesn't care bc shes tiny and pumped to be with her big cousin**

 **So I contemplated doing this from all three characters POVs (because they could all work) but eventually I settled on Ben.**

 **Also, despite the fact I have cousins the age of Rey in this fic that I regularly deal with I struggle to find the right level of maturity vs childishness for her. So sorry if it comes off as too infantile/advanced for her age.**

"Papa says you're gonna' have a baby." It's the first thing Rey says to him after she clambers up to the part of the mountain he had excluded himself to in order to avoid everyone else (and, if he's completely honest with himself, the topic).

She is old enough to know not to mention topics to people that they do not want to talk about them. She isn't old enough to be able to identify those topics herself. Her _papa,_ his uncle, _Luke,_ would have only told the facts of what happened. He wouldn't have told her that it was something that needed to be kept quiet because that would imply it was a bad thing and Luke wouldn't want his daughter to think that having a baby might be a bad thing (even if their mother is only eighteen and, from Luke's perspective, suspiciously quiet about who their father is). At least not while she was so young. Anyway, there was no need to force her to keep it secret. There was only a limited time before Ben's stomach revealed the truth to everyone anyway.

"Yes." Sure he could probably still find someone to _deal with it_ despite how far along he was. But he had known of its existence for a while. He had thought about it. Thought about vanishing into the night to return unburdened. Thought about keeping it and his mistakes that caused it a secret. A problem only he ever knew about. Instead he had told Luke about it. Told his uncle despite the fact that he knew once he did that it would be a secret no more.

"Cool," Rey says, settling into the dirt across from him in a mimicry of his meditation position despite the fact she is still learning the reasons behind it. "That means I'll be an aunt right?"

A petulant part of him wants to correct her, but he cannot think of a different title that actually describes her position in blood to his soon-to-be child. "Yes."

"You don't seem very excited about it," she peers at him suspiciously and he can feel her Force-signature reaching out towards his. She is too young to have complete control and a long way off the feats of him and Luke but she grew up surrounded by it and thus is more capable then most of Luke's other students (both her own age and older). So is he. Building up his mental walls to keep even his family out was something he had mastered long ago. "Ben?"

"It's nothing Rey. I'm just tired."

"Didn't you sleep well last night?" she asks, her voice filled with worry.

He hadn't. It had been a long time since he had his last good night's sleep. Spent most of them tossing and turning and trying to figure out what he was going to do about the situation he had gotten himself into. Thinking about what his parents were going to do when they found out. Trying to figure out what he was going to say to them when they came to drag him home for being so stupid as to get himself pregnant. As the weight on his stomach grew it had only gotten worse. Every time he had to shift to accommodate its uncomfortableness was a reminder of the problem he was now forced to deal with.

He wasn't going to tell Rey that. She would go running back to her Papa and he would have to deal with Luke's attempt at being reassuring and helpful despite the fact they both know he is just as panicked about the situation as Ben is.

"It's just the baby tiring me out." It had been what cued him into their existence in the first place. Workout routines that usually barely made him break a sweet suddenly taking a lot of him.

Rey looks so concerned at the idea. Looks concerned and moves closer so she can reach for him, can reach for his stomach and press her hand against it. "Baby, you mustn't tire Ben out, he needs his energy."

"Rey it's okay," he reaches down to grab her hand but fails to finish his intended action of removing it from his stomach. Instead they both just rest against it, "that's just what babies do before their born."

"Really?"

"Yes." He remembers his mother saying how much pregnancy had drained her. He had watched it happen with Rey.

He watches Rey frown as she processes the information. "They don't mean to make you tired right?"

"No Rey they don't." They are unable to intend anything currently. They have a presence in the Force now but not one that indicates any sort of will yet.

"Then I can't blame them for it." The words hold disappointment in them and Ben knows his cousin isn't happy that there is no solution she can offer him. Knows that if Rey thought she'd have a chance at convincing the foetus to stop tiring him she would. He is glad she had never found out about his morning sickness (back when he was trying to hide the condition from them all). He doesn't think he could have bared her concern over it.

"No you can't." It is one of the mantra's of Luke's teachings: not to blame creatures for reactions they cannot control. You don't blame an animal you startle for biting you and you can't blame a foetus for draining its mother in order to gain its own life.

"I'm sure they'll feel bad for making you tired when they realise." Rey says, giving a satisfied nod. Ben knows the truth isn't that simple but he doesn't correct her. Instead he removes his hand from where it covers hers and makes to stand up.

"Come on, it's getting late. We should head back." He'd rather stay up there for a least another hour (when the sun would set and he would have no choice but to return) but he has a feeling Rey wouldn't return without him and soon Luke would come to search out his daughter for dinner. Any solitude Ben hoped for would be lost either way. He has a feeling he isn't going to get it back for a very long time.


	17. Chapter 17

**Prompt: Kylo has been fitted with a force inhibitor following his return to his family. He's been a high risk pregnancy from the start but when he actually does lose it, he has no idea that it's happened. Leia senses it first, Luke can feel it, even Rey is able to recognize what has happened. All he knows is that he has a growing discomfort he can't pinpoint. They know they have to tell him. Leias pov would be sweet if that's alright!**

 **Hopefully I got all the emotions right in this, and Leia's voice seeing it's the first time I've written from her POV**

 **Oh, and where's Han? IDK... out... on a mission or something (basically he wasn't needed to he wasn't included).**

 **Also it wasn't until AFTER writing this I finally decided to research miscarriage, so while this is a possible reaction to a miscarriage it is** _ **far**_ **from the typical (like I actually want to completely rewrite it to make it accurate now because TBH I should have researched BEFORE this one).**

She is there with him when it happens.

She is there when he doubles over, gritting his teeth and trying to stop himself from cursing. She is his mother; she knows what he is trying to bite back words.

She is there when the dependent secondary presence in the Force connected to his fades, and fades, and disappears until only her son's remains.

It doesn't seem possible at first. The unborn child had already survived so much. Survived and clung deeper despite the galaxy and its bearer's body trying to end it. Impossible to think it survived beatings only to perish on its own.

Her son clenches his teeth and balls his fists and she watches and he buries the pain inside him as he straightens up.

"I'll get you a medic," she says and moves to leave but he reaches out and grabs her wrist so tightly that she isn't entirely sure she could break the grip should she need to.

"Don't – I don't need any medical attention. It was just a muscle twitch." It wasn't the first time the pregnancy caused him sudden pain, yet the child had survived all the others.

He doesn't know what has happened. He had come to them for help and the condition placed on him being allowed back was his access to the Force stripped from him by a collar that neither Luke nor she can bear to look at no matter how necessary they know it to be. The collar had blocked him off from sensing his child through the Force and now made him unaware of their death.

"Ben please let me get someone to check you over." Someone to either confirm or deny her suspicions. To confirm the truth that she still hopes is a lie, and tell them what they need to do to prevent it from rotting and taking its bearer with it.

Her son's face curls into a grimace but that might just be in distaste at the sound of his name (his birth name not the mantle he took up when he tried to deny them as his parents). He stands, pulling himself to his full height despite the fact doing so clearly makes him wince. "Is there anything else you want?"

"Ben please get a medic to check you over."

"I said I'm fine," his voice is firm and angry and Leia remembers her son is strong even if he doesn't have access to the Force. He sways and she remembers he's also weak, his body tired from all the ordeals it has faced. "If there is nothing else then leave. I want to be alone."

"Ben," she reaches out to gently grab his arm but he shrugs her off. She wants to plead with him to see a medic but knows that he will not listen. So she leaves the room and hopes she is wrong.

Luke is there when she closes and the door and his face tells her she is not wrong. His face tells that the felt it too and the galaxy seems determined to break her son with every weapon it had.

Leia doesn't know who moves first but they end up holding each other silently mourning the potential life that had brought Ben back to them (back to his family).

"Does he know?" Luke asks when they finally part. They are both too used to grief. Both know that you have to move on. Know that you cannot dwell lest more pain and damage is caused in the interim.

"No. I don't. I can't read him anymore." She used to be able to, back when he was her sweet young boy. Used to be able to read every lie and excitement on his face. Now though, all she sees is pain and grief with no ability to tell the source.

"We have to tell him."

"I know." There is no protecting him for it. He has to know and the sooner the better lest his body fail to purge the dead foetus and instead leaves it to rot within him, leaves it to poison his blood. "I just don't want to lose him." The child is what made her son return. She fears he will leave the second the reason is lifted from him.

"I know," Luke says and he is hugging her again. "But we have to tell him."

"I know," Leia says and pulls away to go back to the room before remembering the rage she had seen building in her son before she left. "Just, not now. I don't think he'd believe me."

"Do you want me to tell him?" Luke offers and Leia knows he is trying to save her from more pain. She also knows that it should be her.

"No. I'll do it. Just, I'll give him an hour to calm down."

She spends the hour trying to find the right words. Trying to find the right way to tell her son that the child he was carrying, the child he had come home for, had perished. There is no easy answer. No clean way of explaining it that doesn't involve some level of pain. No way of talking about a topic like that without hurting.

"Ben," she says when she enters the room and she doesn't know what she expects to see but it isn't him half-bent over a set of draws, his hand clutching at his stomach as he purposely breathes deep and evenly.

"What?" it is more a demand then an ask and he is standing again, standing and hiding any pain he feels beneath the layer of his mask of constant sadness.

"You might want to sit down."

"Tell me," he snarls and she swears she sees fear in his face as the hand on his stomach bunches into the fabric that covers it.

"Ben please," she steps closer to him, and contemplates leaving it until later. Maybe another hour will calm him. She knows his rage can last for days, had fought with him when he first arrived for longer. Had fought with him until she felt too exhausted to continue.

"Just tell me."

"Ben," she finds herself trying to find the right words. Trying to find the right way to express the tragedy that had happened. She closes the distance between them and rests her hand on his. Rests on hand on the one that is already bunched in the fabric that covers where it still rests despite no longer being alive. "Ben, I'm sorry but you've lost them."

His face twists into a rage and he shoves her hand away. "You lie," he says and she can tell by the way his hand bunches that if he had access to the Force she would feel its presence constricting around her neck trying to cut off her oxygen.

"Ben I wouldn't."

"No. It can't be." She watches him raise his fist and fears that it will strike at her. Fears that grief will turn her son into a monster once again.

Instead it lands on his stomach. Lands hard and fast and he winces at it if only for a moment. "Useless!" He raises his hand again but she is quick to grab it. Grab it and holds it close to her chest to stop it from using it on himself.

"Ben, don't."

"Leave me alone." He pushes her away and lands another blow on himself but it's weaker than the first. It's weaker and his face doesn't wince from it but crumbles.

She watches him crumble. Watches his full height fall to the ground and him curl around his stomach and _sob_.

She crouches next to him and gently reaches out to touch him. He doesn't even shove her hand away. Doesn't react at all. Not even when she softly calls his name again. He just sobs and she watches his fingernails dig into the skin of his arms but knows better than to try and pry them off.

"Why?" the word is his first in nearly an hour. An hour of her sitting next to him, waiting for him to need her.

"I don't know."

"There must be a reason. There is always a reason."

"Sometimes there isn't."

"No with our family."

She supposes there is a truth to that statement but she doesn't have any answer to it. Doesn't know why the Force decided to create a child to lead him back to his family only to take it away before it had a chance to take its first breath.

"I'm sorry," she says as if it is answer enough. She knows it isn't satisfactory and knows it will give little solace.

She doesn't have anything else to say. Doesn't know what else she can say. So she just stays there and tries to comfort him as best she can, despite her own confusion and grief at the matter.


End file.
